I Am The Queen Of Guilt-Free Joburg Eating. Here Are My Secrets.

I have a mean sweet tooth and an appetite for all things unhealthy. You honestly don’t want to meet me at the end of a long day if I can’t kick back and treat myself to a block of chocolate (bigger, better) or a spoonful of ice-cream (and I have a very large spoon that I use on especially bad days.) So, when I was diagnosed with a health condition that required me to eat a sugar-free, gluten-free diet, my only option was to find healthy, junk food alternatives – or die trying.

I am happy to report that I am alive and I have managed to find alternatives for each of my favourite junk food items right here in Johannesburg. Better yet, I managed to find alternatives that taste the same as the originals (well, really really close at least.) Whether you just want the benefits that come with cleaner eating – or have a medical condition like me – here is my highly personal guide to the healthiest, guilt-free, junk food that Johannesburg has to offer.

Junk Food


If you haven’t yet acquainted yourself with Caring Candies gluten-free, sugar-free chocolate then you are missing out on an essential life experience. Sold at Dischem and Fresh Stop garage shops for R14.50 (and at 127 calories a bar), these bad boys are about to become your new best friend. The sugar substitute used in this chocolate is maltitol –  a sugar alcohol that, unlike artificial sweeteners, has not been found to have a negative impact on health. It is also the reason that this chocolate tastes exactly the same as regular chocolate. I recommend the mint flavour.


There are days when I feel like ‘I will quit life immediately to live among the pigeons‘ if I can’t get my hands on a decent brownie alternative (In truth, I don’t know that this is a problem for anyone other than me). The good news is I get to go on living my life as a human being because of restaurants such as Fuel Foods in Hydepark and Fresh Earth in Emmerentia. The brownie alternatives they offer are honestly so good that they may be even more satisfying than a regular brownie. Sugar-free, gluten-free and guilt-free – these brownies will change your life!


Paul’s Homemade Ice-cream has become a regular hangout for me. Located in Sandton, Rosebank, Parkhurst and Hydepark, this store offers Xylitol sweetened ice-cream, and vegan options, for under R30.00. Their Health Cocoa is to die for, but they also have Chai Tea and Lemon Cheesecake among a number of other delicious flavors.


Dischem comes to the rescue once again. In fact, you may choose to do the smart thing and stock up on chocolate and biscuits in one visit. Look for Gullon’s gluten-free, sugar-free, chocolate chip biscuits. They sell for around R35.00 and taste amazing – you’ll never look back. If you would like something that more closely resembles Romany Cream, then head for The Nutri-Balance Centre in Sandton and eat your heart out.


Help me if I have missed any great place. I would seriously love to know  – I am especially looking for an amazing piece of chocolate cake or an alternative to speckled eggs.


  1. Terri
    28 June 2017 at 10:03 pm

    Try The Coconut Man at the Bryanston Organic Market. His chocolate cake and cheesecake are Banting friendly, sugar-free and gluten-free!

    • 29 June 2017 at 9:32 am

      Hi Terri, you’re a life saver! This is definitely going to be my next stop.