Bounce Back: The Key To Building Resilience
Everyone has the capacity to be resilient and practice resilience, in every area of their lives. Think about something you really, really love doing. Let’s say gaming, for argument’s sake. Now, imagine that, as much as you love playing your favourite game, you’re frustrated because you’re simply not winning. Do you give up? No.
You practise and practise until you reach your top score – and then you go out to buy a more advanced game.
That, in a nutshell, is resilience.
Perhaps you don’t enjoy gaming, but you may have witnessed this in your child or friends. There has surely been an instance in your life where you have been inspired to seek out ever greater challenges because they make you feel inspired.
Your resilience is at its greatest when you’re doing these activities, because that’s when you’re living in accordance with your highest order priorities. Think about it: when you’re indulging in something you love, you’re more flexible and more adaptable when obstacles arise. But the opposite is also true: if you’re doing something you don’t value, you’ll be more rigid in your thinking. When you don’t feel inspired and energised, you resist change. Your opinions become more polarised, you start thinking in terms of black and white, all or nothing. You become stuck on one solution that you believe will solve your problems, even if it’s clear that it’s not working.
Viewed from this perspective, building resilience is more simple than you think: pursue the things that inspire you, and you’re halfway there. That’s why it’s important to live in accordance with your highest values. When you do, you’re less distracted by the things that don’t matter and you achieve greater flow. When opportunities arise, you’ll have the flexibility you need to embrace them. You’ll be calmer, too.
You need only look at your relationships to see that this is true.
Imagine your husband has come home from work in a happy mood because he’s had a fulfilling day, while you’re irritated because you’ve been battling with the kids. Instead of connecting with a catch-up, you snap at each other. That’s because your lack of fulfilment makes you defensive, so you retreat into pride.
How do you reach the ideal state of living in accordance with your highest values? Start by listing everything you do, then prioritise them in order of what you find most meaningful. Now, concentrate on dedicating your time to the activities you’ve identified as your greatest priorities. When you do, you’ll find that things naturally slot into place.
Make sure that everything you do – from what you read to who you spend time with – resonates with your priorities, and you’ll find that instead of allowing the world to run your life, you love and appreciate everything in your life, and get the most out of every day.
Who Is The Writer?
Dr John Demartini is a human behavior specialist, educator, international best-selling author and founder of the Demartini Institute. Visit Dr Demartini’s website for more information, or to do the online value determination exercise – its free.
Want to know more?
A growing stack of research confirms that working your brain as if it were a core muscle keeps it younger and fitter. Click here to find out more.