Chubby Hubby: A Wife’s Master Plan For Loyalty
I don’t think my wife trusts me. 🙁 For pretty much all of my adult life, I have struggled with keeping in shape. I enjoy training – it’s not that. It’s just that I enjoy eating more – and the description ‘chubby’ is beginning to apply to me. Generally, though, I’m fairly good at catching it before it gets out of hand – one or two crash diets later, and I’m doing okay.
The problem is that, of late, those crash diets have been minor fender-benders. I’m starting to realize that I’ve never actually managed to lose weight; I’ve only ever temporarily misplaced it. As such, 2017 will forever be, for me, the year in which the calories won (for now).
Back to my wife and the trust thing.
Jazz really seems to love me very much, and no matter how down I am about my weight or appearance, she’ll still be quick to tell me that I’m:
b) Beautiful (!?)
c) Magnificent (my personal fav).
At any given time, I seem to be one of these to her, which is incredible for me, and it makes me very happy. Clearly, every pot does have its lid. Thing is, sometimes I think she thinks the rest of the world sees me the same way. She’s convinced that I may climb off a stage into the arms of an adoring bombshell who wants to whisk me away (apparently I’d have no say in this scenario because, and I quote, “men are fools”).
But despite the fact that I have a gorgeous, adoring wife, my confidence really is starting to take a knock lately. I feel self-conscious every time I deliver a talk; I’m convinced the only thing people are thinking is, “damn, that guy needs a salad!”. Now, I realize this is Jasmine’s cunning plan in action.
Let me give you an example of an average conversation in the Mulhooligan household:
R: I’m feeling really down about my weight today. I hate that I can’t get on top of it and my self-confidence is taking a knock.
J: Shame, love, you’re still handsome/beautiful/magnificent (pick one) to me.
R: Thanks, wee wifey, I’m so glad. BTW… what’s for dinner?
J: Macaroni cheese with caramelized bacon, and a carrot cake for dessert.
I’m on to you, woman.
I see through your master plan. You’re fattening me up so nobody will look twice! I’ve started looking around in shopping malls, and you’re not alone. There are hordes of happy, content women walking hand-in-hand with slightly overweight, chubby men. Why are they happy? Because they’re winning!
This article is not really about this, though. It’s about the one thing I can change that will change my life in 2018. And for me, that one thing is to “stop trying to find outside reasons for inside problems”. If I’m chubby and my weight is a problem, I really do only have myself to blame, even if my wife is trying to force-feed me.
So, that’s my plan. is year, I’m blaming only myself..and I’m going to start as soon as I finish this slice of carrot cake.
I love to stay in touch, so feel free to visit www.richmulholland.com to find my newsletter and video series. Much love, Rich!
Who is the (chubby) writer?
Richard Mulholland is an entrepreneur, speaker and father. He owns Missing Link, a presentation company, and co-owns 21Tanks, a perspective innovation lab. You can read more of his ramblings on his website above or follow him on Twitter at @RichMulholland
If you’re worried about the same issue as Rich, click on the link to find out how you can change small dietary habits for a big change.