Do You Plan on Becoming a Surrogate Mum? Here are Tips to Guide You in the Process
Longevity Partner Content. Surrogacy is quite delicate, and it’s not a decision you can make overnight. You choose this course because it’s one of the fantastic gifts you can provide to another family. It is one of the biggest acts of kindness, and most people choose that path because they genuinely want to help. If you have finally decided to pursue surrogacy, then you want to make the most out of the experience. You want to be the best surrogate mother you can be.
If you decide to pursue this, then you ought to keep in mind that no surrogacy journey is similar to the other. Everyone goes through this beautiful experience in a unique way, and there are several tips to an excellent surrogate. It’s always good to remember that you are not alone through this journey. Once you choose surrogacy, you want the best for the baby you are carrying, the intended parents and yourself of course.
Tips To Becoming a Surrogate Mum
As a surrogate, there are a few things you can do to ensure the journey is as flawless and as smooth as possible. They include:
Ensure you are emotionally ready
Surrogacy is a delicate process, and if you have decided it’s the way to go, you are about to embark on one of the most significant journeys of your life. Chances are you will only do this once, especially with the magnitude of the whole experience. Through your journey, emotions will run high, and if you are not psychologically ready, they can break you. The best way it’s to open up, know what you are signing up for and don’t be scared of going through the journey. Remember you choose to do this out of the goodness of your heart, and once you are at it, you cannot afford to backtrack.
Do adequate research
If you intend to embark on a surrogacy journey, then it is in your best interest to learn about the whole process as much as possible. Gaining knowledge is valuable before committing to becoming a surrogate mother. Usually, two surrogacy arrangements can be performed, and they include traditional and gestational. In most cases, gestation surrogacy is the preferred choice since, with the method, there is no baby-mother biological connection. This is because the process involves egg fertilization with sperm before transferring it to the surrogate. Usually, the egg can be retrieved from a willing egg donor or even the mother herself. It is then fertilized by a sperm from a donor or the intended father as well.
After fertilization comes the crucial part and that is the implantation to the surrogate mother who carries the baby. When the time comes, she delivers for the intended parents. Traditional surrogacy involves fertilization of your egg, which leads to a biological connection. As such, before embarking on this journey ensure you are conversant with the whole idea. Learn as much as you can, and make the right decision for you. Your willingness is all that counts.
Read every word of your contract
Going through the contract phase can be daunting. You will come across some things that you might not necessarily feel comfortable with. Keep in mind that this is where you might experience the most stress. In as much as the contract follows the same structure in most cases, you have to advocate for yourself. As such, you ought to read every single word of the agreement before you can commit yourself to sign it. Make sure you understand everything that is provided there before you get into a rollercoaster that you might not see to the end. Please note that the contact will be based on a commitment letter that you will be required to sign. If there is any information you are not comfortable with, make sure you let the relevant personnel handle it before putting your signature on the document.
Take into consideration your wellbeing
The most crucial thing in surrogacy is your health. It is a necessity if you intend to have a successful surrogacy process. As such, it’s always a good idea to maintain a healthy diet by consuming nutritious foods. Also, during the pregnancy, you can exercise regularly as well as have sufficient rest. Usually, if you choose surrogacy California, there are many resources dedicated to your health and overall wellbeing. Also, your doctors, alongside your surrogacy specialist, will be with you through every step to offer any advice and crucial information to make your journey better.
Consult surrogacy professionals
One of the essentials in surrogacy is open communication. You need someone to talk to whenever you need some particular information and support. It will be in your best interest to keep your surrogate professional informed in the slightest of details that you encounter during your pregnancy. If you have any questions or concerns, you should never hesitate to consult for better guidance. Also, at some point, it’s possible that as a surrogate, you might struggle to cope with surrogacy or pregnancy challenges. If you ever find yourself going through that then consider consulting a counselor to provide you with additional support. Never forget that your emotional wellbeing is of equal importance as your physical health. Also, if you are looking for a professional, it should be someone with years of work experience, so don’t be fooled.
Remain as honest as possible
Remember, surrogacy is not something you go through alone. It is essential to remain as straightforward as possible not only with the intended parents but also with yourself as well. In this journey, you are your advocate, so in case something doesn’t feel right then you need to speak up. Keep in mind that all relationships are built on trust and transparency. It doesn’t get any deeper than remaining honest with the intended parents. The moment you open up and share your thoughts with them, they will feel they are part of the surrogacy journey and that you care about them. The intended parents will always be thankful to surrogates who can open up and talk about anything that might be bothering them.
Ensure your journey is well documented
Surrogacy is an incredible experience that you need to account for from day one. Your baby’s intended parents might want something that will help them tell their baby’s story. Remember, as a surrogate; you are an integral figure of that story. As such, you should take as many pictures as possible throughout your pregnancy journey. Document the whole experience by capturing all the critical events as they turn up. Remember, the documentation does not only involve taking pictures and that you can incorporate a journal as well. You can take notes and if there’s any message you want to pass to your baby you can write a letter and give it to the intended parents. There is always an option to tell the story from your perspective, and you can pursue it if you want.
Organize your emails and paperwork
As a surrogate, the last thing you can afford to do is lose some particular information. Therefore, from the start, ensure you keep all your emails and paperwork organized. Once you receive a specific document, save it immediately to avoid forgetting or losing it altogether. You can create a folder in your email inbox that contains all the materials that are related to surrogacy. Also, ensure you don’t lose any information that you have had to fax from the beginning. You can create a folder to keep such documents for reference whenever needed. It is always good for surrogate mothers to remain as organized as possible since, throughout the journey, you might be required to provide the same piece of information over and over again.
Find out the compensation offered
Surrogacy is a daunting task, and it not only takes character; it requires resilience and determination from a woman. As such, you want to be compensated appropriately, or you might feel it’s not worth it. Also, if you have decided to grow a baby and keep it healthy and safe until it can be with its parents, it’s entirely out of goodwill. Many people refer to it as a noble calling, and you shouldn’t be out to extort the intended parents.
If you want to become a surrogate, search for an agency that has your best interests at heart. Choose one that you feel values your time and cares for you. Remember, pregnancy is something you will be stuck with for nine months, and you can’t afford to have second thoughts about it. You don’t want to start questioning if it is worth it midway through. If you want to avoid regrets, consider working with an agency that has been around for a long time and has garnered an excellent reputation over the years.
Get the baby ready for emotional transfer
Pregnancy involves much more than just carrying the baby around for nine months. You bond and share everything with the little one. The baby becomes accustomed to your voice, scent, and touch. He or she starts bonding with you long before you give birth. Once you deliver, the baby needs to start a new phase, and that’s creating a unique bond with the intended parents. Keep in mind that the moment you give birth at the hospital, the baby will be handed over, and there has to be an emotional transfer.
Making the transition easier
As a suitable surrogate, you can make this transition better for both parties by preparing the baby for it during pregnancy. Some of the ways to do that include:
- Let the baby get used to the intended parent’s voices- while still pregnant you can allow the intended parents to talk to the baby every once in a while. You can also play recordings of them to the baby before giving birth. It makes it familiar to their sounds and eases the transition after giving birth.
- Offer a transition item – keep in mind that the baby recognizes your scent even before birth. As such, you can sleep with a particular item, preferably a stuffed animal and it is over to the intended parents after birth.
- Play the favorite music of the intended parents – being a surrogate requires commitment. As such, you should familiarize the baby with the sounds they will hear at home once they are born. You can play the music that the intended parents love so that after birth, the baby can be comfortable in its new home.
As a surrogate, you sacrifice a lot to ensure you give the baby the best possible start to life. You want all the best for it and the intended parents. Furthermore, you are doing this out of pure kindness and wouldn’t want to mess it up. We understand it is a big task and one that’s not for the faint-hearted, but the above simple tips should help you through your journey. Also, remember you are not alone, and everyone involved will be willing to help wherever they can to ensure the surrogacy is a success.
This article is a Longevity Paid for Partnership.