7 Things You Should Never Hide From Your New Partner
Understanding the difference between inoffensive and harmful can be a little confusing when it comes to keeping secrets from our partner. While you should build your relationship on trust, it is also crucial to remember that you both are individuals with own personalities and backgrounds. Therefore, where should we draw the line on what we need to communicate?
Trust is fragile, so support it with truth
Trust is an essential element of an intimate relationship, but it can be easily broken and hard to amend. When your partner withholds relevant information from you regardless of their reasons, it is inevitable to feel betrayed. For many people, any form of dishonesty can be a deal breaker.
Anything that holds the potential of impacting your relationship needs to be brought up. As hard as this may be, it will always be better to go with the truth instead of finding out through someone else, a picture, a text, or some document left out visible around the house. Conscious has its way of letting us know how to proceed, if you feel guilty about hiding something from your partner, then listen to it, it could be a good idea to come clean.
1. Any health issues or potential risks
Sickness will affect the both of you, in physical, emotional and financial levels. Be open about your health. Even if you recovered completely, your partner deserves to know if you are at risk for some illnesses, consequences from surgery, a potential relapse or risk to pass it on to your children. Also, consider telling your partner if you have any sleeping disorders such as a noisy snore at night, obstructive sleep apnea, insomnia or restless leg syndrome, it may sound silly, but even a mild snoring problem can often create frustration and resentment between couples.
2. Finances and debt
Having a debt is a secret that is not going to last for long. It will come up to the surface sooner than later. Being honest about finances allows you both design a budget that works for the two of you together. Be honest about your wages, potential reduction of staff at work, and what are your fixed and variable expenses.
3. Level of commitment and expectations for your partner
Be open and respectful, be honest about your expectations for the relationship. Keeping your thoughts to yourself about getting married, having kids, being able to have them or not, or sexual expectations can only end in heartbreak. You do not need to pretend things are okay to be happy, be honest about what you expect and discuss it out with your partner.
4. Family secrets and parent’s relationship
In a serious relationship, it is essential that each understand the family dynamics on both sides. You should let your partner know if you have plans of taking care of your parents or supporting them down the road. A bad relationship with your family can affect your romantic life in many aspects. The fact that one of your parents is not your biological parent, for example, or if you were adopted are also things you should share with your partner.
5. Life goals and plans for the future
You should be with someone whom you trust to an extent where you do not feel foolish about confessing your goals. Your love should know what purpose you have in mind for waking up every morning to go to work and vice-versa, helping each other pursue those goals along the way.
6. Your past and romantic background
Ever heard of the saying: “Your past shapes you but it doesn’t define you”? Your history can help explain why you are the way you are today commitment problems, past events causing physical or psychological trauma, even simple things such as hobbies, and habits. It’s true that the past shouldn’t dictate how your relationship works in the present, but for financial and emotional reasons, previous romantic commitments and significant events should be on the list of confessions to your partner.
7. Those very close friends
There is no need to say that cheating is wrong. Emotional infidelity still counts as cheating for many people, so if you find yourself getting closer to someone else, even if it is just as friends, it is a good idea to let your partner know. Secrets like this always come up to the surface and for many people, this can be a point of no return that is incredibly tough to overcome as a couple. It is best to disclose early to work things out, rather than putting at jeopardy the entire relationship by keeping it from your partner.
Trust involves so much more than catching your partner’s truths or lies. It is about believing that he or she truly has your best interests at heart. Vulnerability and honesty about all aspects of our life is an act of bravery and finding healthy ways to express yourself to your love is the best way to build a trusting relationship. Click here to find out how to handle the situation if your partner has a personality disorder.
Who is the writer?
Robert J. Hudson is the chief editor at Snore Nation and a proud father of two cool boys. He is also a reformed snorer and reformed workaholic stress monster on the mission to share his insider tips to restore that quality sleep for you and your partner.