Tips To Get What You Want In The Bedroom

Being able to talk openly to your partner about sex, and especially about what we like and what turns us on, has actually been proven to make us want more sex. But to talk openly is for some very difficult.

In this article we share some to tips to help you be more open and honest about your needs in the bedroom.


“Whether it’s sex or relationships, the component that often holds it all together, makes it more exciting and keeps us interested, is actually communication,” says Durex Sexologist, Catriona Boffard. Let’s face it, if we are getting what we want then we are more likely to want it more often.

bedroom | Longevity LIVEOnly a lot of people remain tight lipped when it comes to what they want between the sheets. Other people say they want to talk about it but don’t know where to start.

“Ultimately, if you and your partner can learn to communicate openly about sex, you’ll not only improve your sex life but you’ll probably improve your relationship too,” explains Boffard.

Communication Tips

When to talk:

  • Don’t talk at the dinner table, with kids in the car, or after you’ve had a bad day at work.
  • Pick a time when you’re both relaxed and at ease, and when you feel comfortable around one another.
  • Try not to talk about sex during foreplay or sex. Rather make the time for these conversations outside of the bedroom when you can give each other you’re full attention.
  • Agree that you have a time and place to talk, rather than springing it on each other.
  • Turn off electronics!

How to say it:

  • Respect each other and what you’re both saying – remember to let your partner know how important this is to you.
  • One might be a talker and the other a thinker – listen to each other, maintain eye contact, ask questions for clarity but do not judge or interrupt.
  • Be sensitive. If you don’t like something that your partner does don’t accuse or blame them. Tell them gently and offer an alternative.
  • Rather suggest doing more of something than less of another.

What to say:

  • Prepare – think things through first before you tell your partner what you want them to be doing to you in bed, be clear in your mind what you’d like to talk to them about.
  • If you are nervous, start by remembering a fun sexual time you have had together and reminisce for a while before you get to the serious stuff.
  • Never compare – either your partner to an ex or yourself to the beginning of your relationship.
  • It’s not about what you’re saying but how you’re saying it.

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