Why Being A Modern Woman Can Lead To A Lack Of Self Confidence
Did you know that there has been a shift in the modern female code from struggles for independence and dominance to a fight for the right to personal identify and choice. This is according to a recent survey conducted by 1st for Women. The research also revealed a troubling lack of general self confidence among women.
According to Robyn Farrell, executive head of 1st for Women: “Today, it’s no longer about being better than men, or the differences that exist between the sexes, but rather about gender acceptance and greater independence on women’s own terms. Women don’t want to be stereotyped. Now, it’s all about redefining women and their multiple, integrated roles and supporting them to be the best that they can be.”
The Modern Woman
Today, it’s less about women fulfilling external expectations of perfection – the modern woman is free to be exactly who she chooses to be and is no longer bound by a one-dimensional definition. Unfortunately, this can become undermined by what each woman believes of herself; how she views her capabilities in comparison to others in her environment.
“Regardless of societal expectations, we make our realities work for us, on our own terms. We’re all trying to balance a hundred different responsibilities and expectations – some days we are able to do it all, others not – and we need to realize that’s OK,” says Farrell.
“The research revealed that women are expected to perform at their peak in every aspect of their lives, all the time. This constant pressure sometimes clouds women’s awareness of their own competence and abilities, and the incredible impact that they have on their families and their colleagues,” says 1st for Women. In short, it results in lower self confidence.
“Not all women take the time to acknowledge their own strength, resolve and power – and they seldom put themselves first. We believe that the world would be a much better place if more women were encouraged to let their inherent confidence, and qualities, shine,” says Farrell.
It is about creating a space where women feel free to be truly confident. Where they do not feel obliged to underplay their competence in order to be acceptable. Where they truly acknowledge their capabilities and don’t end up as their own worst enemies by underestimating themselves.
But why do modern women not acknowledge their capabilities?
“To confirm our research, we conducted a social experiment and ran an independent survey with 4 510 South African women. In the social experiment, we asked a few mothers why they think their daughters are doing so well in life. We then asked the daughters the same question. Not one of the women interviewed took credit for all that they have achieved. In our survey, 84% of the respondents also attributed their achievements and successes to someone else,” says Farrell.
You may ask the question: does this research then show that women should just learn to brag more? Well, not necessarily.
“Women don’t let their inherent confidence shine or put themselves first, not because they are “I” adverse but rather, because they underestimate their own abilities despite the multiple roles they have to juggle on a daily basis,” says Farrell.
“It’s not just about patting women on the back,” she insists. “It’s about inspiring women to live up to and believe in their own, unique potential – and celebrating how that means something different to every woman.”
6 Ways To Build Your Confidence:
Psychologist Maud Purcell, suggests the followings steps to gaining self-confidence in her article titled The Self-Confidence Formula For Women:
- Take responsibility for yourself – You are the only person who can create new experiences for yourself and as a result should take responsibility for your self confidence or lack thereof.
- Begin to experiment with life – Engage in new activities and develop new skills so that you can learn to rely on your own capabilities to get you through the challenges of life.
- Develop an action plan and implement it – To start off with, you focus of one area of your life that you would like to develop. Write down goals and the action steps that you will follow in order to achieve these goals. Each little step that you complete will bring you closer to the change you desire.
- Stick with it – You should ensure that you follow through with each new project you embark on regardless of whether or not the results are what you hoped they would be. This will help you to learn to rely on your own abilities whatever the circumstances may be.
- Act “as if.” – Behave as if you are someone who is confident. It is well known that if one changes their behavior, their feelings follow suit. Taking the first step with a little feigned self confidence can lead to the real thing.
- Find a mentor. Do you know someone who is as confident as you would like to be? Ask them to coffee. Find out how they built up the courage to take risks. Discuss your action plan with them and the implementation of it and get their feedback. They understand what it takes to build self confidence and will most likely be happy to help.
In the end it is all about creating a space where women feel free to be truly confident. Where they do not feel obliged to underplay their competence in order to be acceptable. Where they truly acknowledge their capabilities and don’t end up as their own worst enemies by underestimating themselves. Let’s create that space!
Be inspired by Sophie Gray! She believes that Self-Love is the foundation for your health. Follow the link to read her tips and advice.